I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ttyl tear gas
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
