How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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