lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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