I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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