He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
