I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
