There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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