Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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