Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
