You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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