they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ketchup is God's man juice
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
