im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
