He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
