Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just tell him i said nine months
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just invented taco cereal.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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