Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Let's get the cat blown out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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