left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
