she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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