Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize