She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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