no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
