am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
