Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
