I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
