Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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