Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
