Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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