No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
