Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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