i'm signing you up for texting rehab
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
In America we eat man semen.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
