Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
