you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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