I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
