Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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