I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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