The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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