you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
