If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i believe in u and ur pee
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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