I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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