Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
