She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
