When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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