Kiss
Puke
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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