I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize