Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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