Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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