this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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