Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
