I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
