There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
