Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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