I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla