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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.