We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The Olympian is in my bed
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME