Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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