i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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