Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
