Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
