Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fem_anon hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

Fav 137 2849 966
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you

Fav 14 1309 4717
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

Fav 24 1195 4581
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

Fav 25 6926 1274
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

Fav 22 1749 6090
share tweet
(310): View more from California

He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone

Fav 18 6883 1269
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.

(770): View more from Georgia

Dude. Do it.

(678): View more from Georgia

Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?

Fav 16 4839 1045
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.

Fav 1 885 558
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.

Fav 0 6 55
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT