i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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