a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
