the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
