He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
