Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
