Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
