I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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