She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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