You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
