how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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