he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
All I want is dick and wine.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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