ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
